Monday, December 12, 2005
I feel like a bad Mommy
I had a speech tournament this weekend. It is amazing how much they can wear you out. I really love competitive speech. I love seeing kids win. I just miss my family so much when I am doing it. I saw Kaylee for about 5 minutes Friday morning before she left to go to the babysitter's house. She was asleep by the time I got home late Friday night. I was gone by 6:30 Saturday morning, so she was still asleep. And of course, she was asleep by the time I got home late Saturday night. So, even though I am coming home to sleep in my own bed at night, I feel so guilty that I am missing out on that time with my daughter. She is growing and maturing at such a fast rate, I really feel like I miss out. However, we need the money that I receive from the stipend, which is the real reason I do this. No matter how much I love competitive speech, I love my daughter and husband much more. It is a constant internal struggle. I would love to have my master's degree in Administration, I just don't want to miss out on anything at my family's expense. So, I choose my family. I would love to be the best speech coach, but I choose my family. In the priorities of life, family is so much more than prestige, money, and learning. I love my family.